I have been struggling this week (again) with the fine line between helping my husband and advising him (read "nagging"). Our car broke down a few days ago, we've had a really tough week with Bud, and our finances are a constant worry. Naturally, I have lots to say about all these things. 
But, I find that the more I say, the less "helpful" I am being and the more distance I feel between my dear husband and I. My husband is working hard and he's doing his best in difficult circumstances. He needs me to be supportive and positive instead of offering my suggestions (read "list of ways I would do things differently"). So, here is a list of ways I can be his helpmeet instead of burdening him with my doubt.
- Greet him with a smile everytime he comes home, even if I'm about ready to ship the kids off to Grandma's until their 18.
- Ask him what he needs, and then meet that need joyfully.
- Pray for him to have wisdom and trust God to provide it. (This will stem the criticism.)
- Leave him a note of appreciation for all his hard work.
- Be cheerful and try to create a happy atmosphere at home.
- Fix tacos. (His absolute favorite!)
- Give him a back rub.
I know what you’re saying! I tend to want to give my husband a little too much input about how to handle things at the office, when really, he knows what he’s doing. When he wants to talk about it and sling some ideas back and forth it’s great, but sometimes my unsolicited advice (or criticism) can come across as doubt in his abilities.
Yes, our words are so powerful, and can never be retrieved once they leave our mouths. Wives have the power to either build their homes (and husbands) or tear them down.
I can so relate to this! I need greet my d.h. with a smile each and every day and to stop nagging him!