To Strive or Not to Strive?

"Strive: Struggle, to make a great effort, to fight."

That was the definition I found on this site when I googled it.  Striving is by definition then, not a peaceful verb.  Yet, as women, we want to create a peaceful, restful home for our husband and children and for all those we may welcome into our fold.  So is "striving" toward godliness or holiness going to counter all our efforts at creating a peaceful atmosphere in our homes?  That is the question posed here in response to John and Stasi Eldredge's book Captivating.  ReallyTrying states "I have said on more than one occasion in many different circumstances, 'I am trying soooo hard.'  And now to find out that I've got it all wrong. My 'trying hard,' my 'striving' may well be saying to all who are close to me 'All is not well.'"

Perhaps that is so, but I am not all that convinced that "striving" is the problem so much as the motivation that drives us to strive for holiness.  All the striving to be better may in fact be an attempt to feel worthy or to protect ourselves from loss.  It may be born of insecurity or motivated by guilt.  And what, then, will be our reward?  We cannot attain perfection, for we are only made perfect in Christ. Therefore, if we strive out of insecurity or fear, these things will not find relief. 

 But if we are striving toward holiness, seeking always for ways of improving ourselves, in order to present ourselves to God "as one approved, a workman who does not need to be ashamed" (2Tim. 2:15), then our reward is in heaven when we present ourselves before our loving Father, not as one who has lived in perfection (for only Christ has done that), but as one who strove toward the perfection of Christ.  Paul wrote often of "fighting the good fight" and "running the race (1 Cor.9:24-27, 1Tim. 1:18, 6:11-12, 2 Tim.4:7, Heb. 12:1).   He spoke of struggling against the flesh (Rom. 7:15-25) and he urged us to continue to live in order to please God "more and more" (I Thess. 4:1).  So striving toward holiness is every Christian's way of working out their salvation.  But fortunately for us (and this is where we can exhibit the peace that makes a haven of beauty in our homes) Christ has already redeemed us and our salvation is sure (John 3:16)!  So we do not strive to earn our salvation (for we cannot), we strive to please the One who bought our salvation with His death.  Our love of our wonderful Savior sparks in us a desire to please Him by living "self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age" while we wait for the return of "our great God and Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ, who gave himself for us to redeem us from all wickedness" (excerpted from Titus 2:12-14).

But I struggle with insecurity, as I know many women do, even though I know I am saved by Christ's blood.  I often operate out of guilt or even fear instead of being motivated by love.  I am imperfect even in this! And so I keep on. And I hope you will, too, ReallyTrying.  And I pray that we both have more days of "striving" not from fear or an attempt to be worthy, but out of love for the Dear One who bought us and who is even now preparing a place for us(John 14:2-3).